ok backing up.
So I had planned to have my indulgence Saturday night with my old friend from college. The plan was: picnic with wine and cheese, then off to favorite neighborhood restaurant where I'd have some yummy calamari and maybe meat and little yummy tastes (the place is like gourmet American tapas). I was looking forward to this!
we did have wine and cheese picnic - that was lovely and fun!
but then on our way to favorite neighborhood restaurant we ran into some people my friend knew. They invited us to join them for a drink at this [totally awful] Tex-Mex restaurant. So, being nice and up for anything, we did. :-(
then everyone ordered food and I realized that the neighborhood restaurant plan was over. In hindsight I don't know why I didn't just order something non-indulgent (if there is such a thing at a Tex-Mex place) and pocket the second half of my indulgence for post-PCP.
Instead, I ate a lot of the [really not very good] tortilla chips, 1 pork soft taco (bland and greasy), a few bites of rice and beans (greasy), and 2 beef fajitas (beef & veggies SWIMMING in oil). UGGGGG. It wasn't even good! And, I had sangria which was way too sweet and also not good! I suppose I half did it all because I was hanging out with people I didn't know, and I was trying to salvage the indulgence and enjoy it. To top it off, after we parted ways, my friend and I went to go get small dishes of ice cream (and luckily I had enough sense to get a small dish).
I was SO full though, and not very satisfied.
So then we get home and chat and eventually go to bed.
...a couple hours later I wake up after strange, fitful, haunting dreams to find myself sweating, feeling nauseous and very disoriented. Finally I drag myself to the bathroom where, let's just say, I was unsure (and prepared) for my entire indulgence to explode out of any/all orifices...
And it did.
oh god it was terrible! i was so sick! worst stomach cramping ever, and boy did I purge. all I wanted to do was say OH GOD! and moan loudly, but to top it off I was trying to keep quiet so as not to gross out friend.
Eventually I shuffled out of the bathroom and made it back to bed, for a few more hours of terrible sleep and nausea/sweating. SO GROSS!
i kind of can't believe it, but somehow I did the workout today. not first thing, mind you, but I got it done, and I even went climbing. I also ate some unlawful peanut butter and carbs to calm things down a bit with my stomach this evening. ugh.
on the bright side, I suppose it was good not to fully ingest all that nasty food non-food crap. on the dark side, I wish I could've had a more enjoyable indulgence. But, last weekend I did indulge, and it wasn't caving, it was planned and it was fun and I felt good about it. So, that was my true final indulgence, I suppose.
The interesting thing is that I do think I had a bit of a hangover today, and it did cause me to have more carbs and the peanut butter. i kind of forgot that - even slight hangovers always cause me to eat badly and eat a lot the next day. as I look toward the future of not drinking much, I'm happy to take this post-drinking day of unlawful eating out of the equation.
so there you have it. bum-er.