Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 70, The Pink Lady vs. Schlump Girl

In the spirit of Royce's awesome metaphor about the demons and super-heroes within us all, I spent the 18 min and 40 seconds (I add 40secs to account for the tripping) of my jumping this morning creating my own comic book narrative. I have to say, I LOVE it and I think it's giving me a big push for this leg of the PCP (I really can't say "final" leg of the PCP, because life as I know it from now on is the PCP in my opinion).

Anyway, here goes...

Deep in the concrete jungle there lives a ferocious demon, though innocent she may seem. Her name? SCHLUMP GIRL.
SCHLUMP GIRL, circa 2008

Notice how SCHLUMP GIRL has weak shoulders, flubby arms and big boobs. She drinks a lot, and eats greasy food, and craves salt and sugar all the time. She also makes bad dating decisions, hangs out with random people who aren't truly her friends, and once she ate tortilla chips dipped in chocolate ice cream.
See how she's slightly out of focus? That's thanks to the aura of negativity she emits.
Don't let her fool you with that innocent, unknowing gaze - she's vicious, and lonely, and scared, and she wants you sitting on that banquette with her, NOW.

Thankfully, SCHLUMP GIRL is easily outdone, even at her strongest moments, by...
THE PINK LADY, circa July 2010

Her picture says it all, really. THE PINK LADY is all muscle with some sexaaay curve on the side. She's got energy and verve and she still has at least some semblance of pretty great boob. She wants to feel good for the right reasons, and help others do so as well. She also wants to see SCHLUMP GIRL grow up, get focused and leave town so that she can get to The Peak already. Until that day, however, THE PINK LADY fights the good fight to keep SCHLUMP GIRL at bay, faltering on her climb from the peak ever so slightly when SCHLUMP GIRL surfaces at a weak moment, but climbing faster and higher after each encounter.

Will THE PINK LADY make it to The Peak, or will SCHLUMP GIRL drag her down time and time again?

To be continued...

heeheehee! so fun!
in all seriousness though, I think this is really going to help me. I mean, how can I EVER let someone named SCHLUMP GIRL win, over THE PINK LADY?!?! I don't care how grumpy or tired or frustrated I am - I feel like I can resist SCHLUMP GIRL's promises of happiness-via-ice-cream or calm-thru-alcohol, especially when I see her as this demon trying to manipulate me and hold back THE PINK LADY from the peak. Nothing pisses me off more than people trying to manipulate me (this is why I do not own a TV!), so I feel like if I look at it this way I might be able to resist SCHLUMP GIRL better when she tries to bring me down to her pond scum level. We shall see!

ok, onwards.
So, wow, day 70. less than 20 days left now, after today. that's amazing. totally nuts! balls crazy nuts! it's funny, around 40 days left or so I got all completely freaked out about not having enough time to truly achieve peak condition before the 90 days was up. I was really panicking about having to see this project complete without feeling that I was there yet. And now, even after a couple weeks of too many unlawful moments (ladies weekend was great, but i had FAR too much wine...), I don't have that anxiety at all. I guess it's a mixture of feelings; one, that every day I am getting to a new peak condition, so even if we ended right now I'd feel that I accomplished the goal, and two, that I think my regular life won't be much different from this. I love working out every day, and I've always done that regularly, so that's a no brainer. The eating is always harder for me, but this is the first time I've learned how to eat so that I never feel hungry yet still lose fat and build muscle - the winning combination! the holy grail!
also I think I really just needed someone (apparently Patrick) to tell me that what I eat is going to be responsible for 80% of what I look like. I can workout all I want but when I ignore sound, natural, healthy food choices and proportions, SCHLUMP GIRL wins. period. no getting around it. i think i finally understand this.

some workout notes:
today I tried some jumping tricks!! I did this funny heel-toe thing, and then i jumped side to side like the boxers and the guys on youtube. I did 4 successful double rope swing moves!
and, I covered my poor butt and thighs with whip marks from the rope (the downside to jumping in undies-only). !! OUCH!
now I have a weird confession: I discovered, this weekend, that I jump better in silence. It's not so weird actually considering that when I was a runner I never listened to music (marathon training: books on tape! nerd alert!), and I was a swimmer which involves silent laps. With the music I become aware of how much time is passing, and I'm less focused. Jumping in silence the past few days felt very peaceful and focused and reminded me more of why I did love running once upon a time (now: YECH!). I'm still going to listen to some badass tunes for the rest of the workout though, i need to rock to embrace the fail.

ok folks, that's all I've got. Busy busy few days ahead, so I might not post again until Wednesday. But the good news is that my next post will be from my very own home. No, it does not have a garden (or a park), or more than one level, or 6 stovetop burners, or--travesty of all travesties--washer/dryer IN UNIT. But, it's my lovely little homey apartment and I miss it so much!!!! Can't wait to go back to Brooklyn and round out the last couple weeks of this journey where it all began. It's so crazy that everything can remain the same, and yet completely change.


  1. Wow, Elena - epic, badass post. LOVE the superhero story. PINK LADY FTW!! Schlump Girl doesn't even resemble you anymore.

  2. All good progress (mental and physical). Pink Lady is very famous in Japan:

  3. OMG! We could have a whole TEAM SEXAAAY superhero team, like the X-Men or the Watchmen. Must think of a superhero identity...

    I totally agree with you on the jumping in silence. I also used to run in silence, running with my ipod just took me out of rhythm at first...but, with the marathon training, I got into it. I also have a friend who listens to books on tape when she runs...I like nerdy people, they're the best!

    I was thinking about throwing out my TV last night, too. I never use it and enjoy listening to radio news way more than watching the sensationalized TV news.

  4. We are all doing a bit of indulging lately - and confessing... interesting how the process is similar for all of us. We hit that big valley at the same time and now we're struggling with these simple temptations, missing workouts, wine, and all that. Most likely we are preparing for the exit day. How to live after? Will we fall apart? Will we stay the course?

    You have found a new Elena. The Pink Lady. She's beautiful, inside and out.

  5. Love it! You are just doing amazing with all of this.

  6. PS - I just bought some Pink Lady apples and thought of you. Every superhero needs their own signature fruit, don't you think? :)

  7. Yah, Pink Lady !! I love it !!

    By the way, Pink Lady in Japan came back 5 years ago, they were 45 years old and dancing and singing just like when they were in 20's !!
    They were sexaaay and fit, and who knows they might come back again in 50's ( yes, my generation !)

    So you, Pink Lady in NYC will be fit and Sexaaay FOREVER !!!