Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
- First, it only took me 53 minutes. Whoa. I was wasting major time before. it added up, apparently! (just like all those bites of indulgent food and sips of beer I used to have added up to the 15 pounds I've lost!)
- Second, I definitely got more burn. Not world-of-difference more, but enough that I felt I was really doing a top-notch workout, not a medium-notch one like I had apparently been doing before.
- Third, around 12pm I could really feel it (I do my workouts at 7am). I got up to do something at work and suddenly felt muscle fatigue that I haven't felt since the beginning of PCP.
- Fourth, I felt very productive and energetic during the workout! Something about staying on task and on a very strict timeline made the whole thing feel better and filled it with the focus and energy that I've been enjoying all around lately. I've found, especially these past few weeks, that I'm procrastinating less. If i get home at 10pm from a work meeting I don't plop down and chill out right away if there are other things that need to get done (like, ahem, washing dishes). Overall I'm more prone to the DOING of things rather than the putting off that I used to do more often than I'd like to admit. That feels good! And, it felt good to feel that kind of focused energy during the workout!
- Fifth, it was nice to be finished in 53 minutes. Of course this still did not translate to me being on time for work, but that's a separate issue I haven't quite figured out yet...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
As follows the old adage, when it rains it pours. Voila! The third date with The Unhealthy Heart Surgeon was a flop, I restocked my milk, and here I have another potential romantic situation!
Ok, does everyone know what craigslist missed connections is? Well if not, it's this page on craigslist.org where you can send out messages to the world about people who you notice or think of but who, for whatever reasons, you weren't able to contact in real life. I think the idea of it is romantic at best - it shows, especially in a city like NYC where sometimes people can be so closed off, that we're all going around noticing people far more than we let on, and that many of our thoughts about others are kind, or at least flattering (and sometimes x-rated!). At its worst it's a bit creepy, and sometimes people are just nuts. Eh, what can you do?
So anyway, to make a long story short, check this out: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/1864862621.html
It's about me! Isn't that crazy?!
Now, I don't read this missed connections site, because I have had not one but TWO experiences on it already (!!); one involved catching an ex-boyfriend in a long-term crush situation and then enacting sweet revenge, and one was a post someone wrote about me that turned into a very romantic and ultimately somewhat heartbreaking and existential-crisis-causing experience.
So by those descriptions alone, you can probably see why I stay very, very far away from this site.
But then today one of my volunteers sent me the posting, as he had been volunteering at said letter writing and knew that I had written a letter, worn a blue dress and ride a fuchsia/purple single speed bike. The catch? He also sent it to TWO HUNDRED of our East Side volunteers! How embarrassing!! But of course also how funny. All the staff at my office then saw it, there were many jokes and some funny/awkward pats on the back.
Of course all I could think was, WELL IT'S TOTALLY BECAUSE OF PCP! And it really is - I mean, yeah, the bod is looking way better than it was before, but also I can feel that I'm existing differently. I'm putting a different energy out into the world. I've always had a fine time with confidence, so it's not as simple as that, it's more of a subtle change that I've felt especially in the last few weeks. Peacefulness is playing a part - maybe because I've finally removed myself from a cycle of guilt and self-chastisement after every "not good" food choice or indulgence? I'm not sure the exact origin, but it's definitely PCP related and it feels much clearer and calmer than the berating that I think I used to do to myself much of the time.
Anyway, pretty funny stuff.
(updates on what happens with this go around to come, I'm sure. Let's all hope that dude isn't a freaky troll!)
Monday, July 26, 2010
I'm shocked that we're almost 2/3 of the way to the end, but of course as we approach that elusive day 90 it looks less and less like and endpoint and more like a starting point. Similar to graduation from college or high school - yes, you're finishing one thing, but it's a means to move forward to the next thing. By finishing PCP we're starting our new, mindful, healthful, HOT BODYFUL lives. That's pretty exciting! I was thinking today about how, once PCP proper is over, it'll be so nice to just have an apple, egg white and glass of milk for dinner from time to time, especially in the middle of a week where there may be a few indulgences. What a comfort all this knowledge will be when we go back out into the big bad world of non-food foods and excessive indulgence!
Ok, phew. mini-lecture over.
Soooo, anyone wondering about Date #3??
Well wonder no more!
It was.... a TOTAL FLOP!
Yes friends, alas, the third date test revealed a big whopper of a zero on the fun scale.
First, to let you know that I'm not just a huge judgmental jerk, here's my approach to dating (i've done a lot of it, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it):
First date - everyone is too nervous to be able to see clearly. Now of course the flop can happen on date #1 but I'm very forgiving on what happens at this point. Most things that can go wrong here can be chalked up to nerves, so I have a 2-date minimum (this rule was only broken once when I went out with a sweaty-handed smarmy sneaky guy who tried to trick me into going to his apartment and wouldn't stop trying to stroke my hands DURING DINNER! Ok, anyway...)
Second date: This is when I'm at my most optimistic. I see potential everywhere, even between the food stuck in your adult braces.
Third date: This is where those rose-colored glasses come off and either the view is fresh and clear and lovely, or dim and grey and putrid. This date is most helpful if NO alcohol is consumed!
Ok, so the recent gentleman suitor. Date 3 was a telltale 'yech', involving almost no smiles, many snarky remarks, and a lack of a plan (his actions, not mine!). I was very happy because it was a daytime date and we went for a sushi lunch where I could stick to PCP. This, however, was not a great idea because I have a hard time putting up with picky eaters or people who aren't adventurous about their food. When a dude gets teriyaki and tempura and makes a gross face at my beautiful sashimi he is not scoring points with me. Another lady, maybe, but not this one!
Alright alright so i sound like a jerk. But mostly it was gross - he obviously just wanted to somehow get me back to his apartment (only 3 dates! i'm no prude but come on man!), and with the new PCP body maybe I don't blame him so much for that, but we just didn't jibe so I was extra prudish.
Now here's where this whole long nonsense relates to PCP:
So, by the time I had an opening to cut my losses and head home, I was pretty annoyed and kind of skeeved out. I have learned the art of patience, but mostly at work, so in my free time I'm probably a less patient person than normal people. Combine that with being very straightforward. The result? Here's how the final exchange went down:
The Gentleman Suitor: Well, ahhh, we could go back to my place and drink some port.
The Gentleman Suitor: [eyebrows raised in freaky anticipation]
Me: You know, I really have to get back to Brooklyn. I have too....ummm.....oh! I have to go buy some MILK. I need to buy A TON of milk! I love milk. I'll probably have to get a gallon.
Seriously. That's what I said.
My inner voice was all, YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU JUST TOLD HIM YOU'RE GOING TO BUY MILK! BUT IT IS TRUE, YOU NEED TO GO BUY MILK FOR THE NEW PCP WEEK!
hahaha, i wanted to laugh, thinking of how my PCP friends would giggle at this one-of-a-kind date-ender.
Naturally I had to jump on the bike and flee. I felt bad, but then I didn't. Life's too short!
When I got home (after stopping for milk, of course) I was so happy and content to have my milk and my life.
...and then I wanted more milk.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I was just at the food co-op, buying a shocking amount of eggs and milk (as usual) and who did I meet? Shivani! More real life pcp action happening, and it was great.
First, she looks INCREDIBLE. Man, if there is any motivation to keep going strong it's running into a PCP Graduate / KFB Student because that lady is ripped!
Second, I couldn't stop talking! We launched right in (after the squealing and admitting we'd been reading each others' blogs) and it was so refreshing to talk PCP with someone who doesn't need an explanation.
We are going to try and meet up with Emily (also PCP/KFB) next week, and we agreed that we'll take an awesome picture of us all flexing, so stay tuned for that!
Speaking of meeting - Tara, when are you coming to NYC??
Saturday, July 24, 2010
So true! I spent all this energy beating myself up for one day of sloppy behavior, and in the meantime I have had 54 days of unprecedented commitment to healthy, conscious choices. A little more appreciation for the positive here, Elena!!
A huge pat on the back to everyone here on PCP - the choices we're making every day (to do the workouts, to resist unhealthy food choices, to prioritize food prep, to try and get quality rest, etc.) are TOUGH, and they're CONSTANT, and we all deserve the party of the century for deciding to take this journey and live our lives mindfully, rather than easily.
I'm happy to report that yesterday I adhered to the diet down to the last gram again, and planning to do so today as well. I keep coming back to the sense of appreciation for these small but drastic choices that we're all making, and I'm trying to tap into that pride more often.
Also, date #3 with the gentleman suitor today! We are heading to a flea market and then I hope to suggest a sushi lunch. Yay! No dinner temptations! I have a feeling he will suggest wine (he seems to do this), but I'm going to politely decline, despite the strong temptation to take the dating edge off (Deborah I'm thinking about your comment re: being aware of the experience!)
in other news, some workout notes:
I loved the tricep extensions today!
jumping rocks my world. again today i couldn't believe it when 15 min was over. if you're looking for good tunes, here's what i've been listening to lately: http://www.davidbyrne.com/radio/index.php (david byrne posts a playlist each month, not usually of his music, rather it's what he's listening to. sometimes they're weird, but mostly they're AWESOME).
I can almost do 1 full pull-up! I'm close! Really close!
Kung Fu sit-ups are crazy hard, yo! But I could do them better today than earlier this week.
Excited to have jump-only day tomorrow and get a little extra sleep.
Goal for the upcoming week: prioritize sleep!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Alright, so I think I’ve had a sudden taste of the valley and I’m now desperately trying to climb out and run for my life!
The day started with…jumps! As usual! Awesome jumps, actually, as the playlist I’m jamming to lately is fun and upbeat. Also, I had a very nice date #2 last night with the gentleman suitor and I woke up feeling tentatively giddy. So the jumps were good, but I was feeling way, way, waaaay too tired. Because of an extremely late bedtime (
So I would’ve been ok, I think…EXCEPT that I was so tired, and 53 days without a bagel or some chocolate is a lot of time for me, and there have been so many temptations this week (for example, this is what's behind my desk at work right now:
(if you don't know this beer, this is expensive Local 1, Brooklyn Brewery Belgian-style ale; used to be a big favorite of mine, and it's free and readily available at my PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT!)
So, I had a bagel.
And some chocolate. A lot of chocolate (a whole chocolate bar!).
The bagel I nibbled at as the day went by, so at least I didn’t have it in one sitting, but still, I had it. (no cream cheese or anything on it, though, and it was ½ pumpernickel and ½ whole wheat, so at least not plain white. but still.)
What’s surprising about this uncontrolled behavior, is that I’ve been stressing out BIG TIME, all week, about the dating and how I don’t want to have unlawful things, and blah blah blah. Then I caved with stuff that didn’t even matter; it wasn’t a social outing, it wasn’t the date, it was just normal nonsense food that I’m around all the time. Admittedly, the bagel tasted really fracking good. nothing like a fresh NYC pumpernickel bagel…but it didn't taste any better than a delicious banana or a big ripe peach. the satisfaction was momentary and came from a bad place, not the good healthy place we're coming to know so well with the PCP.
I guess I kind of worked myself into a frenzy about the diet this week. It doesn’t feel strict, but then again it kind of does. I was telling a friend this week that it’s not about drastic gestures, rather the PCP diet is about is having the ability to make dozens of small decisions, all day, every day. Even on my best days it feels like a constant struggle, or something to constantly be mindful of. Maybe poor eating habits are more like addictions of other kinds than I ever thought. My problem was never that I ate junk, I just ate A LOT. Prosciutto for breakfast. A bagel if there were some at the office. A huge lunch. Snacks in between. Chocolate. Decadent dinner. Beer. Wine. evening snacks (not 160g vegetable snacks, mind you…). I know a lot of people in the food world in NYC; I have access to free food at amazing restaurants. For someone with a non-profit salary and a high-regard for luxury food this is a recipe for health/weight/body disaster. It's also a recipe for lots of fun...
And today my will power just broke. If it hadn’t been the bagel and the chocolate it would’ve been something else, I suspect. I’m really tired physically, but I’m also tired from a week of anxiety about how to reconcile my PCP goals and my social life. I know I have to find some kind of balance, but I just don’t quite know how to do that yet, and as others in the group have written about lately, it’s hard to maintain this project and these goals while also maintaining the kinds of social interactions we’ve all been in the habit of having our entire lives. This week I started landing on the premise that maybe I actually can have the body i've always fantasized about having. What an exciting thought! The flip side, however, is that I trade some of the ways I used to relax and interact with people and with the city. I'm not sure how to be ok with that trade-off.
I’m not beating myself up too badly (though maybe I should…?). I’ll go home and finish the workout, I’ll clear my head during my ride there, I’ll go out to celebrate a friends’ birthday and enjoy an order of ceviche and I might even have a glass of wine, and then I will go home and get a bazillion hours of sleep. The important thing will be to then get enough hours of sleep in the next few nights as well! I need to prioritize it, or else my strength –mentally as much as physically—just can’t hold up as well to the inherently non-comforting comforts of my pre-pcp coping mechanisms. I haven't ascended to a level of nonchalance about those vices yet, and I need to have all the strength I can muster to keep trying to get to that point.
So anyway, I think that was my foray into the valley. I haven’t wavered an inch with the workouts; I’m feeling so strong and excited about working out lately – I get almost catatonic during the jumps, in a good way, and can’t believe that the 15min is going by so fast. I’m trying hard to embrace failure as a goal for the strength sets (still a counter-intuitive thing for me, but I’m trying), and generally I’m loving all the quality alone time that morning workouts give me in my apartment. But the dinner part of the diet is bumming me out. Like Kowhai, I’m often hungry when I’m going to bed, and I think that has been building fuel toward today’s rebellious act.
Enough analysis. Moving on now (trying to at least)…
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Here's my advice: start to frame your thinking about the workouts like you do with brushing your teeth, or putting on your deodorant, or jewelry or makeup or clothes. In fact, add up the time it takes to do all those daily routines that you've always done. My guess is it'll take as long as the PCP workout (maybe longer, even!), and look at how much you're getting from these workouts. So, I think just accepting it as part of what you do everyday, and not as something separate from the other things you do everyday, will help.
(caveat: I still resent flossing and I've done it everyday for 15 years, so I haven't even quite conquered this mindset myself... but I still always floss!!)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The bad news is...how on earth do I do a first date on PCP???
Here are the challenges:
- I don't know this guy very well (it's a first date after all), so I'm not totally comfortable with explaining the whole PCP thing even before we go on the date.
- I already suggested a coffee & walking date, or an early morning date (i.e. trying to avoid dinner plans), but he has a very demanding schedule, so it looks like dinnertime is the only time!
Anyway, back to the main date (which I am getting excited about). Do I just go for it and be as PCP friendly as possible, but not make it an issue? I obviously want to prioritize PCP, but I need to "get back out there" as mothers and friends like to say, and the clock is ticking!
One final incentive: ahem...so, uhhh, remember that libido question Patrick posed? Well, let's just say I think it's important I get out there and, errr, get that taken care of...!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
- mix all ingredients (except the blueberries and maple syrup) enough so that the batter is uniform but still very, very lumpy. love the lumps!
- heat skillet on medium for a few seconds on the stovetop and use as tiny a dab of butter as you can (i think i used equivalent of 1/4 tsp, but I have a very well seasoned skillet - this is key).
- use a 1/4 cup measure to scoop batter and dollop into the skillet. sprinkle blueberries if you forgot to throw some in the batter as i ALWAYS forget to do.
- watch the 'cakes get a bit bubbly (they won't bubble as much as white-flour buttermilk pancakes do) and after a minute or so you should be able to flip no problem.
- flip and cook another minute, max, et voila!
- transfer to a plate, strategically sprinkle a modest little bit of maple syrup around the pancakes and DIG IN.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Workouts this week are killer, but while feeling that they're more intense I also feel like I'm doing a better job of getting thru them in a fluid, efficient way. Before PCP I used to do pilates a lot, and it was always a goal to be fluid and graceful and to have more of a constant flow in my exercising, rather than starting and stopping and being jerky. It's nice to see that I'm getting to that point with our PCP workouts too. Yay for progress!
Another turning point: I've had these mini moments this week where I hear that mean voice ("Why does it have to be this hard and restrictive to get the body you want?! uhhh!"). The funny response that has been helping me quickly move on from those thoughts is thinking of the creep exercises. I've really embraced this sentiment: getting to Peak Condition isn't something that happens in big strides, or with huge drastic gestures (though of course in the end the whole process looks like a huge drastic gesture). The key to getting out of the unhealthy yo-yo diet/exercise labyrinth is the creep. Creep toward the goal, little by little, and before you know it you're 2 dress sizes smaller, you don't recognize your legs, and you sneak into your office bathroom to check out the definition in your shoulders. Woop woop!
Next, update on gas: I have a lot of it. My friends and family can attest to this always being an issue for me, but now it's so much different! usually it isn't as stinky anymore! And now it doesn't signal stomach trouble the way it used to. A friend once said to me that she likes having gas because it makes her feel like she's losing weight and deflating. Meditate on that one next time you're annoyed with all the flatulence!
Work Challenge: this sunday is our Tour de Queens. I have to be up at 4am to scarf down some food and bike furiously to the start. Unlike Tour de Brooklyn, I won't have time to do my exercises before the whole ordeal, but check out my plan! Once the tour leaves the start there is about 2 hours of down time when we prepare for the finish and reorganize the set-up and mostly wait around praying that no one calls to report a crash. I'm going to bring my rope, resistance bands and the exercises and do them there! Score! Who cares if i'm sweaty - i'll be sweaty anyway, and this way I can shower and collapse when I get home and not worry about it.
Ok, I'm off to a rooftop sunset margarita guacamole party that friends have every year. I'm going to have 2 tortilla chips with the guac, zero margaritas, and lots of seltzer with lime. Mostly I'm excited to catch up with my sous-chef bff (wink wink, M.S.!) and watch the sun set over the Hudson River.
Oh one more thing!
I think I've mentioned it but one of my "after PCP" ideas for staying in peak condition while also having FUN is to start climbing. I'm jumpstarting that plan tomorrow and going to a climbing gym in Brooklyn to check it out - so excited! Maybe it will help me with the pull up goal, too.
Bonus: I scored 50% discount for me and a friend, and I might make a great business connection with the owners and start a cool partnership for members of the organization I work at. Peak Condition all around!
Happy weekend to all.